A quick guide to parenting
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Parenting |
The How To:
1. USE CONSEQUENCES, NOT PUNISHMENT. Set up a system in your family or classroom where undesired behavior results in a consequence. Many actions are expected in children at different ages. There should be no consequence for normal childhood behavior. Books are available that describe the things your child will do at each age.
Make a list of the behaviors you wish to stop. Begin with your strongest areas of concern. List a possible consequence for each action. Don't be too strict. The severity of the consequence is less important than the consistent use of it . If the kids are old enough, have a family meeting and discuss the new system. Tell the children that their actions will result in consequences and use the list as a starting point. Allow the kids to participate in deciding the final list. By the end of the meeting you should have reached agreement on the consequence for each action.
Give each child a copy of the list. Don't impose consequences unless they are on the list. This system only works when the child knows the consequence for each action. If a child does something for which you have not imposed a consequence, say: "I am unhappy, you should have known better, I know it will not happen again, but if it should happen again the consequence will be ___________." This is then added to both copies of the list.
1. USE CONSEQUENCES, NOT PUNISHMENT. Set up a system in your family or classroom where undesired behavior results in a consequence. Many actions are expected in children at different ages. There should be no consequence for normal childhood behavior. Books are available that describe the things your child will do at each age.
Make a list of the behaviors you wish to stop. Begin with your strongest areas of concern. List a possible consequence for each action. Don't be too strict. The severity of the consequence is less important than the consistent use of it . If the kids are old enough, have a family meeting and discuss the new system. Tell the children that their actions will result in consequences and use the list as a starting point. Allow the kids to participate in deciding the final list. By the end of the meeting you should have reached agreement on the consequence for each action.
Give each child a copy of the list. Don't impose consequences unless they are on the list. This system only works when the child knows the consequence for each action. If a child does something for which you have not imposed a consequence, say: "I am unhappy, you should have known better, I know it will not happen again, but if it should happen again the consequence will be ___________." This is then added to both copies of the list.